The Mind Is Not Broken

Have you ever paused to wonder why your mind reacts the way it does? Why, despite your best efforts, you fall into the same habits of worry, self-criticism, or emotional shutdown?

It’s easy to assume that something is “wrong” with us, that the mind has turned against us. But what if every reaction, every anxious loop, every guarded silence was actually an act of protection? From a psychotherapist’s lens, the mind is not malfunctioning; it is remembering. Every defence was once a doorway to safety, a neural pathway carved by past experiences to ensure survival. The brain’s primary purpose is not to make us happy, it’s to help us survive. From birth, our nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety and threat. When we experience emotional pain, rejection, or fear, the brain records those experiences and builds protective strategies around them. These strategies may look like withdrawal, people-pleasing, emotional suppression, or hypervigilance, but each of them once served a purpose.

A child who learned that being quiet avoids punishment grows into an adult who fears confrontation. A teen who learned that achievement brings love grows into an adult who cannot rest. These patterns aren’t evidence of weakness; they’re survival maps drawn by a younger self trying to stay safe in an unpredictable world.

In psychotherapy, we don’t shame these patterns, we study them with compassion. When a situation reminds the brain of past danger, even subconsciously, the body reacts as though it’s happening again. This process is called implicit memory activation. You might know logically that your partner isn’t your critical parent, or that missing a deadline isn’t the end of the world, but your nervous system doesn’t always get the memo. It reacts first; reason comes later.

That’s why emotional triggers can feel so sudden and overwhelming. They’re not overreactions; they’re over-protections. Your nervous system is trying to keep you alive using outdated data. If you’ve been judging yourself for “not being normal” or for “still reacting the same way,” please pause.

Your mind has been your ally all along. It just needs new information, new experiences of safety, compassion, and connection, to evolve beyond survival.